mind journeys

He Will Always Remain

2011-11-06T18:26:00.000-08:00

I love technology! I love the fact that with just a few clicks, I can hear music, send a picture, watch a video, say 'I love you.' Two nights ago, though, I had to rethink this.

When I got home that night, the first thing I did was to turn on my laptop. I wanted to write a few reports for my class before the night ends (or at least, that's what I told myself that I will do that night). But, a few seconds after I turned it on, it went off. Thinking that I must have pulled the plug when I moved it a bit, I turned it back on. It was fine until about two minutes later, and then the power was just simply zapped out of it. And then lo and behold....ants came marching out from the battery slot! And they weren't even on time with the Dave Matthews Band! Uh-oh! In a panic, I reached for my cellphone, but it was not in its usual place, right by my elbow. So I dug it out from my bag but it wasn't there! I called my best friend then and the first word she uttered was, "Cellphone." Whew! So she has it. Okay, she did not have it until I left it on the table in her house.

No cellphone. Laptop without power. What's a girl to do?

This girl got to thinking. And then to praying. And it finally hit me. That night, I spent my technology-free time in quiet and in prayer.

I always like to think that all things happen for a reason -- some may be unfathomable to us, but others are very simple, cut-and-dried reasons. This time, I knew He was calling me to spend more time with Him. Him, who made all these technology under my fingertips possible. The reason and his message: I will always remain. Sans technology, God will always, always be with me. I still love technology. But I love God more.

Guess what? I got my cellphone back the next day. And what do you think am I using to type out this blog? :)

Something Old, Something New

2011-04-22T18:44:00.000-07:00

I was on my way to work one morning when two things hit me. Well, not literally because if it was, I wouldn't be writing just about now.

One -- walking a little ahead of me was a very self-possessed woman. She was wearing "the power suit" with killer three-inch heels.

The second -- an elderly couple leisurely walking, with the woman's arm curled on the man's elbow. They were dressed as if they had just gone up from bed and decided to take a walk. With this little tableau in front of me, I instantly thought I'd choose door number two, any time.

So hear me, God!

Here's My Story, part 1

2009-10-02T06:45:00.000-07:00

I wasn't prepared for it. Neither were the hundreds who were affected, I guess.

It was a rainy morning, a perfect bed weather day. Even more so because the seminar that I had been preparing for was cancelled due to the bad weather. Ho-hum... time to go back to sleep. I snuggled under the covers and went blissfully back to dreamland. Little did I know that that moment was to be the last one on my bed, with my pillows.

A few hours later, the slight rain turned into a downpour. I got out of bed and was immediately updated by our helper as to the state of our garage. "Baha na sa garahe, Ate." I shrugged it off. Flooding in our garage is a common occurrence during such downpours. So we went about our routine.

At lunchtime, the power went off. Our helper stood up to fetch some candles and then slipped on the floor. Our kitchen floor was already wet. We looked out and was surprised to see the steady rise of flood water to our terrace. Minutes later, it entered the sala. Oh no.

I saw the water steadily rising but I still held on to the hope that it will just remain ankle deep. Throughout this time, I asked my Dad to stay in the room. We started gathering things that we can put on top of shelves. When it entered our bedroom, which was two steps up from the sala, it dawned on me that the water might still rise and we could get trapped inside. I started to panic.

A phone call from a friend came through and in his usual calm manner, he specifically gave me instructions. He told me to go out of the house and look for the nearest house with a second floor and to look for people who can help me bring my dad out. "Don't panic. You can do this." He was very sure of me and I prayed that I could be so sure, too.

And so acting on strict orders, I told my dad that I will leave him for a while and get help. I didn't wait for his nod of agreement and started out. I told our helper not to leave my dad until I get back.

When I got our of our house, I could see flood waters rushing forth. Pails, basins, all kinds of debris were swifly being carried away by the strong current. The water was neck-deep on the street, and I was already on tiptoe. Did I mention that I couldn't swim? So I held onto the gate of the next house, which had a second floor. I frantically knocked on their gate and then counted to five. When no one came, I went to the next house, which also had a second floor. They were all looking out from their 2nd storey windows and saw me floating by. Two men came to my rescue and they went back with me to get my dad out. They placed him on his rocking chair and carried him (with the chair)to their house.

I went back, got my bag (which has all our cash, and my cards), and my laptop (which is the reason why I can still do this now), placed them in a plastic bag and carried them out on my head. I went to the neighbor's and handed them my stuff, and then I went back a third time to get some clothes for me and my dad and to fetch our dog. A short frantic search ensued but we couldn't find her, and so we had to leave our house. Our almost-thirty year-old house that has never been flooded. And our dog.

That was around 5:30PM. I was able to make a last phone call to my friend to report that I was able to follow his instructions and that we were safely in the neighbor's house. After that, my phone's battery died.

We had nothing to do but wait. We only had a few cookies, which I salvaged on the way out of our house because I saw our food container floating, but no water. At 8:00 pm, the rain totally stopped. At 10pm, the neighbor's gate was in full view, and the water on the street was only ankle-deep.

We tried to sleep but it was a futile attempt. At first light, our helper and I went to our house to see the damage. It was a mess. A mess on top of 2 inches of mud. With the accompanying odor only mud can bring.

I started picking through piles of things - I recognized a shoe here, a book there, pens scattered about. It was truly a depressing sight.

I wasn't ready for this.

Opposable Minds

2009-06-12T21:44:00.000-07:00

Primates, and that definitely includes humans, are the only ones who have opposable thumbs. Try holding your favorite cup of coffee and you'll find out how our thumbs work. Recently, I came across the phrase, opposable minds, which made me think twice, even thrice. As I understood it, an opposable mind is ready to accept ideas that counter one's own. Sounds simple. Or is it? How often have we accepted, without prejudice, an idea or question that contradicts what we think is our very sound plan? On the other hand, when was the last time we openly questioned an idea that we think can be improved upon? I don't need to have your answers because I have my own. It's not easy being and having to oppose. Personalities often get in the way and relationships get the beating. Going beyond differences and surviving the opposition with relationships intact, I think, is the challenge. Are you ready for it? I know I am. Having an opposable mind need not be such a trying task. After all, God made sure we have opposable thumbs, and that's our lifelong reminder.

Thumbs up, everyone!

Patriotism

2009-06-04T23:54:00.000-07:00

Patriotism is commonly defined as love of and/or devotion to one's country. Sadly, we(and that includes me -- sadder!), so lack this value. A group of us just came from the Malacanang Museum on a rainy and windy morning. Its high walls and million-dollar chandeliers boast of first editions, signed treaties, and priceless works of art and I just viewed them. Viewed them as objects, not as integral parts of our history, my history. Even depressing was the fact that there was no note of pride in the guide's voice and actions. Sigh! He just breezed through the rooms -- naming them, identifying the faces on the portraits, injecting anecdotes here and there. But he also had snide remarks about certain historical figures. Which I laughed at. No points for me there. What a wake-up call for me! I thought I had patriotism down pat. I don't have a desire to work anywhere else than my country, I can write and speak the language by heart, I make it a point to shop and eat Filipino.

But I guess those don't always fit the bill. Deeper sigh!

Love Life

2009-06-03T02:36:00.000-07:00

I love my life. I bet very few people can say that with conviction. True, I could use a car with a driver but even without a uniformed chauffeur to ferry me back and forth places, I can truly say I love the life God has given me. In a real beauty-queen-like fashion, I can earnestly say, “I don’t want to change anything about myself, my life, my friends, my family, and the work that I do.”

On Rainy Days

2009-05-30T19:35:00.000-07:00

It rained. As sure as I was that it will, it did. It made me recall of that time when we had to pick up guests for my party. Otherwise, we would have had buffet food for two weeks! I understand it as God’s blessing. Now. Before, I used to think of rain on such a day as a bad omen. A pesky inconvenience for me and for all my friends, but especially for me. Now, it is God blessing me abundantly! And yes how He has blessed me indeed. So for all of those down with the blues in the rain, think of it this way. . .God has a purpose for everything, and I mean EVERYTHING. Even the littlest fall of rain.

Breaking & Entering

2007-01-13T21:22:00.000-08:00

It was a windy night, just after Christmas, when my very good friend and I went for a drive to her friend's house. Armed with a village map, we got to the house rather quickly and without missing a turn. We could see that the house lights were turned on so we instinctively knew that there was a living soul in the house. Also, my friend was positive that at least one maid was inside because "they would not leave the dog unaccompanied." So we rang the bell -- no response, we tapped at the iron gate -- no response, we shouted our "tao po's" -- still no response. It was at this time that I studied the gate closely (it was the type that is made of iron bars, the type where you can see through, and actually put your hand through) and found out that it was not padlocked. I lifted the bar and the gate opened easily. With the gate open, we had no recourse but to step inside the garage. Looking at each other, we went separate ways, I went to the left, closer to the main door, while she went to the right, to another smaller gate leading to the laundry area and kitchen. As I peered through the window, she announced that the smaller gate was also open. Heart thudding, and mind racing, we both knocked -- I, on the window near the front door, she, on the door at the side entrance. After several seconds, a maid, hair tousled from sleep, opened the side door and let us in.

Whew! What a relief!!! To finally find out that she was alive!!!

To explain the last sentence . . . My friend & I, without talking about it, had our imaginations on overdrive as soon as we stepped into the garage. I was imagining bloody walls and floors, while she was imagining that she would soon be the bloody one!! So great was our relief that it was just our minds playing tricks on us.

Although we still think she should have had the gate padlocked.

When I Say Nothing At All

2006-10-22T09:04:00.000-07:00

I’m a writer. Yep, a legit one. I have actually written a book. Filled up the pages with words that make sentences, that eventually led to stories. It’s amazing though, that even when I can make words speak for me, I can’t speak them myself. I have all the words in my head but I find it so hard to say them out loud. I can write them, that’s easy. But talking, that’s an entirely different matter. Sometimes I wish I just had a blimp on my head that flashes everything I want to say. Hmm…that was just a thought. I think a blimp would cramp my style. But you know what I mean, right? On other days, I wish people could just read my thoughts. BUT . . .my thoughts exactly!!! If that were to happen, my world would definitely be so much more complicated. If only my not saying anything would make people understand what I’m trying to say. I’m afraid I would have to live in an alternate world for that to ever happen.

People need words. I need words, too. I just wish there’s an easier way to say them. Or I’ll say nothing at all.

Hit The Bottle

2006-07-13T02:04:00.000-07:00

This time we were hunting for the bottle.

In one of our forays to the supermarket (asking for food and coffee from our colleagues has taken its toll), we spotted a single cold bottle of frappuccino in one of the shelves reserved for chips. We couldn't believe our eyes and as we slowly reached out to touch the bottle, some kind of fear crept up. Maybe it was just a hallucination! A product of an almost month-long deprivation of my coffee shop shot. But lo and behold, it was real. And it was cold. Which led us to believe that somewhere in that building is a whole set of frappuccinos waiting to be discovered.

Off we went to the refrigerators, peeling our eyes for that distinct label. Ten minutes later, and three trips to the refrigerators, we still couldn't find the coveted one.

Hmmm . . . this is where I tell you that deep inside I wanted to get that bottle from the chips shelf. But what about my dear friend? I can't just take it and leave her high and dry. So the expedition went on.

I had to purchase some stuff for my school activity the next day so we went hunting for the real reason we came to the supermarket. Sugar - check! Carrots - check! Pineapples - check! Frappuccino - check!

Yup, in our search for the important stuff, we came across the one we wanted. There were one and a half cases of the bottle right there across the canned pineapples. Why it's there? We really don't know and we didn't care. As long as we both got one.

Sometimes, life takes you on a spin. Find the more important things first and you'll soon find what you have wanted all along. And it will just be there, waiting for you to snatch it up.

In the case of the frappuccino, we did! Cheers!

Make A Wish

2006-06-09T09:53:00.000-07:00

It is my belief that everybody must have a birthday cake on their birthday. After all, that’s what birthday cakes are for. Call me sentimental but there is a sort of fulfillment when you get to blow out your candles, no matter what the number indicates.

Sigh! Sad to say, the school where I work in had to cut expenses. So the individual birthday cakes had to go. And it so happened that they made the new rule on the exact day of my birthday. Sigh!

I perfectly understand . . . in my head. But, I would have still liked to have my own cake and candles.

Oh well, you can’t have everything.

And then on the 3rd day after my birthday, a group of friends surprised me with a party. And yes, they brought a cake, with candles!

Who said I can’t have my cake?

Gotta Believe

2006-04-15T22:26:00.000-07:00

Gotta blog, gotta blog, gotta blog
But don’t have words to write
Want to think life’s not just as it is
Gotta blog, gotta blog, gotta believe

In something other than this
Something greater than actually is
Something mighty yet something light
Gotta blog, gotta blog, gotta believe

In that magic time surpasses
That which faith alone recognizes
Gotta blog, gotta blog, gotta believe
In the one true God who is

All that is great, mighty and ever
Loving and faithful and real
Now life is not what is just is
With Him it’s more… you gotta believe.

A GLORIOUS EASTER TO EVERYONE!

Tick Tock

2005-11-04T00:15:00.000-08:00

I’ve always had trouble with time. No, I’m not always late – well, sometimes, but not on a regular basis. What I mean is that time seems to just fly by me. Even when I start the day early, darkness comes too soon. What’s that all about? And I always catch myself asking the same question over and over when a friend wants to meet or when there’s a business meeting to attend to – “What time?”

What time should I be ready?
What time do we start tomorrow?
What time do we end?
What time?

I want to believe I’m not the only one with this disease. I’m not the only one afflicted with this obsession with time. Well, come to think of it, I’ve always liked Piper’s power of freezing time. And immortality really fascinates me.

Time, oh time. It’s one commodity I don’t ever want to be without. How do I keep time? I don’t know. Give me time to think about it.

Bottled Moments

2005-10-26T17:43:00.000-07:00

It’s been a while, but I’m back . . . for now.
Had a really great time last night with friends. Reminded me that there’s more to life than work, and more work. It was good to laugh at even the most trivial thing, and good to be angry together, at the most trivial thing. If I can only save that moment in a bottle…sigh!

A Cup of Coffee and Thee

2005-06-26T14:04:00.000-07:00

Talk about desperation. There we were, staring at the falling drops of rain, thinking of ways to cross the street to get to a cup of coffee and a piece of donut. Staring across the street when right behind us is another coffee shop, that also sells donuts. Sometimes we just want the things that are so much more difficult to gain.

On the other hand, the very near coffee shop sells a more expensive cup than the one across the street. Which makes me think that maybe, getting that seemingly very far and very unattainable cup across the street is a more practical move. Sometimes, we are driven not only by wants and needs but also by what we can afford to lose.

So what did we do? We waited for the rain until it became random drops. Then we carefully crossed the street towards that cup and donut that await us. Sometimes, it takes another hand to hold us so that we can get to what we truly want.

Care for another cup?

Closet Queen

2005-06-13T11:30:00.000-07:00

I just have to write about this.

Last Wednesday, a dear friend gave a me a grand tour of her Mom's closet. Nope, there's no lion, nor a witch, but oooh! What a wardrobe! Suffice it to say that I have never seen and I don't think I will ever see a more organized wardrobe as her Mom's. Just about everything is in their proper place. Every shirt, pair of pants, shoe, and suit, knows where it belongs in the grander scheme of closet things. In this world, sleeveless blouses don't mingle with tailored suits. Blues are not to mix with reds. My friend assures me she is never going to be like her Mom but as I entered her own room. . . Well, let me just say she's really trying not to be like her, BUT.

And I mean this as a compliment.